GOOD VS GREAT FRIENDSHIP

I thank God for the opportunity to get away with my wife and just rest. This time away has allowed us to really think about one of the most important things in our lives and marriage, Friendship. We’ve been reflecting hard on great friendships. There is a difference between Good Friends and Great Friends. For my Masters I’ll do a paper called “Endangered Species: Great Friendships” (That was for my smart people on social media. Did I spell that right? 😂)

I’ve been a pastor for 18 years, and it’s true, many pastors and leaders lack genuine friendships. Their circle is afraid to call them out. (By the way not anybody can call you out, they gotta have credentials, they gotta have equity.)
It’s time to really reflect on the good and the great people around you. It’s time to fine tune this. Time to reflect on the people building you.
It’s time to separate a few folks. Maybe shorten the list? Are they good or are they great? Listen, Cherish great friends. Support great friends. Defend great friends. No more wasting time. (By the way, you don’t have to accept applications from people wanting your friendship.) No more headaches. If it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. I have lots of good friends, and I am grateful for them! But I thank God for Great friends, my circle. They are not annoying 😂. They don’t nag, they don’t compete, they are not looking to get something out of the friendship, it’s just natural. It’s organic, it’s easy, it’s fun. Stay healthy my friends!
DO YOU HAVE GREAT FRIENDS?

Worship Time With God

Worship Time with God

A few weeks ago I had the privilege to speak in the worship conference Towdah about my routines in worship prep. What to do before you walk on a stage.

Every worship leader should have a routine,  how they prepare for worship. Some people go for walks, some leaders read books. There are gonna be many ways to prepare, but some things are a must as we prepare for leading worship. 

Two years ago I was blessed with the opportunity to open up for Kari Jobe. I got to watch her, not just as an artist, but as a wife and a mother, before and after her concert. One thing that I can say and I have always seen, is that Kari knows how to usher God’s presence into a room. That night I got the opportunity to watch her prepare before and after her concert. I was blown away. I watched her sit in a room all by herself for one hour before and after the concert. The huge lesson I learned and took with me that night  is called Worship Time With God.

I believe that every worship leader, with their own style, individual abilities, gender, culture, race, age, and gift should walk in these three routines before leading worship.

1. Every worship leader needs to spend time in God’s presence. You need to know what it “Looks” like. Sometimes I spend hours just talking to the Holy Spirit in prayer about what he needs in our services, what he desires in our worship experiences. This is not religion. I ask him to speak to us, to visit our plans, and at times to wreck our plans too. I don’t want our services to look like a worship youtube video, but rather what he wants our services and experiences to look like. I want us, our teams to be different, unique. Wouldn’t it be boring if every house in your neighborhood looked exactly the same?
2. Every worship leader needs to practice “Hearing” God’s voice. The Bible says that his sheep hear his voice and they follow. Sometimes, through journaling, sometimes through his word, sometimes through people, and sometimes in the quiet whispers. (Some think this is creepy, depending on your faith background and culture) but the Bible clearly speaks that God spent time seeking the father. God can speak to you before, during, and after you walk off the platform.
3. Every worship leader needs to know what God’s presence “Feels” like. We worship him in spirit and in truth. His presence is real. God’s presence is tangible. Some worship leaders refuse to feel God’s presence, especially when it comes with power. We cannot just go through the motions. God’s presence is manifested when we are hungry, desperate for him, and when we add our faith walk, our daily faith seeking  routines to our worship experiences. It’s more than just lyrics, it’s deep longing, and his revelation in our lives. Ask yourself this question:  if we turn off the cool lights, the smoke, and the click track, what will we have left over? I pray that we can usher in his presence without these things, but when we add them, it will make our worship experience even more spectacular. 

  Worship leaders, If you have never felt his presence, ask him. I ask him two things every morning: 1. Holy Spirit take me deeper and 2. Take us deeper. If you struggle with this, he is such a gentleman that he will meet you in the shallow. If it’s scary, he is such a father that he will walk with you, step, by step. He’ll take you in knee deep, then shoulders deep, until you are swimming in the deepness of his ocean.

Clown

The weirdest thing happens in the life of a child. I still don’t get it. The scariest creature is the one who we still pay for the entertainment at our kid’s birthday parties. Clowns.

Growing up I hated Clowns. Let’s be honest, who likes clowns? If this is your career or calling, I’m truly sorry, I’m not speaking about you. I’m speaking about that clown that in every picture the kid looks like he is about to get murdered. Don’t even get me started in that killer clown movie I made the mistake of watching, ironically was actually pretty good.

But what makes them so terrifying? It’s not the balloon animals, or the colored hair, or their funny outfit. It’s the smile. The big, ridiculous, exaggerated, always happy terrifying smile.

Isn’t it funny, not always, but sometimes the ones with the biggest smiles, are the ones we need to be afraid of?

People always say they love my smile, that I’m always smiling, that everything seems like it’s always great in my life. My friend, can I be honest? For so long I had the pretend smile, the fake smile. I was that clown, and I hated my job. It was that stupid smile. The “You will never know what’s happening in my life smile.” The “I will never let you in on my life” smile.  Touring, a life of airport and hotels, stadiums, pouring into people, with a fake smile. I was a horrible clown. My worship at times was balloon animals. My life was corny jokes nobody laughed at.

I want to encourage you to pause, and identify your smile. Why are you smiling? What makes you smile? Or, why aren’t you smiling? People who struggle with happiness usually have a fake smile. If this is you, where did you misplaced your real smile?

If I can tell you one thing, it would be this; you don’t need to have the church smile, the religious smile. Don’t live life pretending. Make 2019 the year were you practice a healthy relationship with God. A true and deep relationship with God will abolish a counterfeit, fabricated, and bogus smile. As cliche as it may sound, this exciting, fulfilling smile is not found in a substance, or a thing, or a person, it’s found in a relationship with God.

Today I smile because I have true joy and peace. I’m in a place where I can be myself. I smile because it’s amazing to be transparent and unique. It’s ok that I don’t need to have all the answers, I don’t have to be the biggest, the smartest, I don’t have to have a million dollars, all the accolades or the biggest title. I smile because it’s ok to have insecurities, like everybody else. 😂 And even when it’s tough in seasons, I still smile, because I’m either up, or getting up. I quit that job and I invite you to put in your notice. 

Proverbs 15:13 says, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.”

I encourage you to smile, because we always have a hope and a future. Smile because you are never alone, and never without help.

I Love this verse;

Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones”

The product of joy, is a real, organic, childlike smile. This is healthy, good for the soul, and good for the body. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

-Mark Twain

Supernatural Culture

I love our church, it’s made up of so many ethnicities and cultures. A few weeks back I had the privilege of leading worship. One of my favorite things to do every time I get to lead worship is that I try to make it a habit to greet and say hi to someone I don’t know before going on stage.

As I walked down the isles of our church I realized I was only greeting people of my age and complexion. It was horrible. In plain terms, I was only greeting people like me.  Right there and then I was convicted. My heart stopped. Here I am, a christian and a minister and I was bringing an innocent form of division into our family.

Aren’t we all created by the same God? A God that loves distinctions and dissimilarities?  A God who is passionate about diversity?

Was I wrong? The answer is no. You see, we are all products of our up bringing. We are wired to hug, embrace, reach out, listen, like, pay attention, read a book, go to lunch, with people who look just like us. It’s natural. We are driven to touch first the things that appeal to us, to who we are, language and nature. But the reality is that we are Supernatural beings. Humans who have encountered a supernatural God. We are not natural. This Godly love we have encountered is nothing natural, it is a supernatural love. A supernatural love chooses to do what a supernatural God does. It is the opposite of what our nature says to do. The natural says, what goes up must come down, the supernatural says what you are used to doing, or accustomed to do, you can do better, you can do greater.

I choose to walk in Supernatural Love. A Godly Love. The natural challenged the savior to let humanity perish, but the supernatural choose the cross to give them life.

 Today, engage, reach out, choose to hug, say hi to, buy a book from, go to lunch with, listen to someone who looks or sounds different from you.

The God in the Mirror

Have you ever felt like you have no purpose, or maybe that you are evolving into someone else you really don’t intend to be. I believe I just went through a season where I literally felt like everyone was trying to create their own version of Joivan. I felt like everybody was giving me great advice about life, but instead I found myself going through many unwanted roads. I felt as if I was becoming different clones of the people around me. I’ll be completely honest, the people around me may see me as confident, secure, and like I’ve got it all together, which in part I do. I have accomplished so many goals in life, but there is still a side of me that questions my purpose or the direction I’m taking. In this last season I had to reassure exactly where I wanted to go in life and in ministry, or else, I would have been heading towards other people’s directions and expectations. Here is the lesson; “You must know where you want to go or you’ll be lead to an unwanted place.” 

In this confusing season I lost sight of who I was, I lost sight of whom I had become. I am a firm believer that we are the results of our environment. Our experiences, victories and failures have shaped us into who we are today. I reached a point where I loved who I had become, but I slowly began to fade away from that. I became bitter, confused, and insecurity was creeping in through the back window.  I believe that for every season God supplies us with uplifting verses, and here is mine:

Psalm 37:23 (KJV)

23 ” The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” 

The other day I was listening to Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” song. Pretty profound if you were to ask me. As I pondered more on the lyrics I realized more and more how I had to reflect on me. Where was I standing? Who was I really? God declares to us that our steps and future are directed by him, but I questioned, “Am I really righteous?” “Am I a good person?” Everybody surely desires to be good.

Against all inner struggle I had to look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that I am a good person. So how do I know that I’m a good person? The word says in

Matthew 7:16A(NKJV)

 “You will know them by their fruits.”

So what kind of fruits are you bearing. I encourage you today to study your fruits. What are people saying about you?  Instead of listening and believing the whispers and the lie, stand on God’s word and believe the good fruit, not just the fruit.

I’m good because God my father says I’m good and because of the sacrifice that God did for me at the cross. Therefore my steps are ordered by God. And guess what? He delights in my ways. Many times the enemy will whisper the total opposite of who we are. He’ll whisper we are bad people, liars, unfair, unworthy. And here are the big ones: That we are not important and that nobody loves us. It doesn’t matter who you think you are, choose today to be the person in the mirror. And who is that? The reflection and the split image of God. When God looks at us, he sees himself. So in all truth the man in the mirror is actually the God in the mirror. Don’t misinterpret the message, we are not gods, but we are his sons and daughters.

When I look at my kids, I see how much they look like me and I also see their greatness not their weakness. When you look at yourself in the mirror remind yourself of who you are, and who you belong to. My pastor always says that the greatest privilege we have is simply knowing that we are sons and daughters of God. Today surround yourself with people who will let you be you, full of God, and not their clones. If you find yourself in this position, run away from anger, bitterness and in making yourself the victim. Choose love. You can’t ever go wrong with love and having a close circle of advisors. The Bible says in

Proverbs 15:22 (MSG)

“22 Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail;
    take good counsel and watch them succeed.” 

 

I have good news, you are good, God loves you and has a great plan for you life!

Feed-Back

feed·back

ˈfēdˌbak/

noun

1. Information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc., used as a basis for improvement.

One of the worst feelings in the world, is to have performed a certain task, and never know if what you did was good or bad. Not knowing how we did can cause us to recreate mistakes. The only way to solve this is with a simple but powerful tool called feedback. We have all heard it. We all know it, yet we still fail to apply it in our lives.

Feedback is one of the most amazing tools a leader can give and receive.

The best leaders aren’t afraid to receive feedback. One of the biggest areas any leader can lack in, is in his or her ability to not receive feedback. Pride is feedback blocker. Two reasons why leaders do not grow, is due to the fact that we are afraid to hear what others think about our performance. Second, the leadership we are under may not be communicating effectively our performance.

Feedback tells us there is a right and better way to accomplish our goals.

Proverbs 19:20 says,“Hear counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come.” (AMP)

 Proverbs 12:15  says,“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” (ESV)

Feedback is a leadership growth vitamin, and it does exactly that, it feeds our calling and our gifting.

If you are a leader or under a leadership, here are a few points to keep in mind about feedback:

1. Get feedback from people that you value.

2. Giving feedback tells individuals you work with, that you care.

3. Not everyone is willing to receive your feedback. Do not force yourself.

4. Feedback can cause people you don’t lead, to think that your are better than them.

5. Feedback must be given in Love, expecting nothing in return.

6. It is important to receive feedback from people that walk the talk.

7. Feedback can be positive and negative.

8. In order to give feedback, your idea and approach to success must be successful and yielding great results. One way of achieving this data, is through feedback!

Today ask someone you value, “Hey, How am I doing with …”